It's London....

It's rushing for your dear life to a job you never saw yourself doing when you were younger... but somehow fell into and now can't get out of because you have a mortgage to pay.
It's yelling at someone to "move down inside the carriage" because you literally can't breathe in the armpit of some 6'4" stranger.
It's Tuesdays... when I know I can get the Stylist magazine 12 hours early, from the same man. We don't know each other names, but always smile and make eye contact as if we've known each other for years.
It's giving the biggest sigh as the doors close to a Victoria line tube, even though you know another one will be arriving in 60 seconds.
It's paying paying £6 for a pint and constantly complaining about it, but going back all the time to do it again.
It's a place that can be so overrun and crowded, yet you can feel so lonely.

It's London. 

2017/Gender Eqaulity and Who Should Pay For The Drinks???

2017... what a year you have been so far! Going through the depressing motions of Brexit to having a misogynistic prick in the White House makes me feel like we are journeying back in time. I can't begin to express how disappointed I was in the men (and women!!) who voted the orange faced baboon into one of the highest powers in the world. This is someone who called women "beautiful pieces of ass", or that he would have "nailed Princess Diana", "Abortion is punishable", however Mr Trump hit a new low after the emergence of a video in which he discussed "grabbing women by the p****" and states that "when you're a star, they let you do it".... THIS IS THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES?

But before I get into a #trumphatespeech I will go back to the point I was trying to make, which was dating. If the world really feels like we should go back to suppressing women, and not closing the gender pay gap, then ya'll can pay for damn dinner!! 

I am a firm believer that in this day and age I would NEVER expect a man to pay for everything on a date, especially with this whole equal pay gap conversation going around, and women fighting for it. So if we both earn the same, why should we expect them to pay for everything and be out of pocket? Since I've been back in the dating game I've come across many different kinds... 

1. I've had the older man who even if I forced to pay, he wouldn't let me, which felt frustrating because I didn't want him to hold anything over me, but it felt refreshing at the same time. 
2. I also dated one guy who treated me on the first date, then we split the second, and I got the third (although he did buy a few more rounds), which all felt normal and nice! 
3. AND THEN there was the guy (awkwardly named "Guy" as well), who everything had to be 50-50 with. I get that we should never expect a guy to pay for everything, but throw me a damn bone and maybe buy a single round more than me especially when you're trying to "woo me"... On our second date he even booked the restaurant, ordered (the most expensive) bottle of wine and ordered the food, to say "let's split it" at the end... I mean this guy wasn't even trying to fake offering to pay. This obviously made me feel pretty weird. Then 3rd date came around... nope still 50-50. Then he asks me on the 4th date and says he'll book the place and let me know what time etc. My response was a test: "Sorry, I'm totally broke this month after paying out for a lot so not sure if I can make it". Any other guy would probably respond with "well I can treat you this time" or "I'll get this one and you can get the next one?".... BUT NO!!! His reply was "well when do you next get paid then??". Ladies correct me if I am wrong but that was the MOST unattractive response ever and we haven't spoken since. 

I know, I know "equal rights" but we still have a massive way to go in terms of closing the gender pay gap. In fact on this exact day (November 10th) marks the day that women technically don't get paid for the rest of the year compared to men, and that thought makes me sick. And when I have a mortgage, ground rent, rip-off service charges and bills to pay all on my own, I think it would be nice to be treated every once in a while. 

Dating Rules 101

What can I say? It is quite the adventure. From dating someone who lied about their age (and ended up being 20 years older than me) to being sent several messages about my thoughts on English weather to being stood up in a bar and waiting an hour and 15 mins (try not to feel sorry for me though because the bottle of wine I ordered was great… I just didn’t need to ask for 2 glasses), the struggle is real!

It’s crazy to think that everyone in 2017 looking for a life partner will have to turn to online dating. Gone are the days of meeting someone while you’re out in a bar. Unless you’re lucky enough to work alongside potential suitors or have been introduced to your significant other through a mutual friend we can now add “Tinder Swiping Professional” to our resumes.

We all know people who are on dating apps, constantly swapping advice on which one is better. There’s Tinder, Bumble, Happn, eHarmony, Lovestruck, Match… the list is endless. But I will say that someone should come out with an online dating tips book. I’ve decided to compile a list of personal dating profile no no’s:

Stating your salary – It either looks really large so you think they’re lying, or it’s less than what you make, in which case you’d wonder why they’d advertise it. Plus you shouldn’t want a girl after just your money, there’s such a thing as a “personality” to win a girl over.

Usernames – These are key to being able to instantly determine whether someone is a total nob! If a message pops up from “NaughtyButNice”, “BigSteve” or “MrNiceGuy” no matter how many times you compliment me on my “beautiful blue eyes” I can’t get past my first impression of you insinuating you have a massive penis.

Opening Liners of “Hi” – you’re not giving me ANYTHING to work with here guys. Are you incapable of telling me a bit more about yourself or asking me how my day is?

Age Limits – They’re set for a reason guys. I haven’t put an age limit of 28-38 for no reason. Although you’re 25 dog photos on your profile are lovely (John, 58, divorced with 3 children) I must decline your offer of a drink because I am not looking to be a widow at the ripe age of 40. I know some of you will think “oh but age is nothing but a number”, well it’s more than a number when you aren’t able to kick a ball around in the back yard with your son because you just had your 3^rd hip replacement operation, John!

Multiple messages – especially days apart, almost begging for a response. Listen Derek, I got your message on the 27^th July, 1^st August, 3^rd August, 10^th August and again today. I must say that I admire your persistence but you’re starting to come off a little desperate and it’s irritating me.

My favourite opening line – “If you were a Transformer you’d be Optimus Fiiiine”, thank you for that one DearDiaryJackpot, your line was cheesy but I messaged you back due to your pure effort of coming up with that cracker!

Selfies – best to leave that to the girls. Anthony (39, lives in Chelsea) your 8 selfies of you doing the kissy face makes me think that you ticked the wrong “looking for” box when you set up your account.

“Looking for in a girl” – Remember guys, these are advertised on your profile and girls can see what you are “looking for”. One guy’s profile said he was looking for a Scandinavian, Russian or Finnish girl between the ages of 22-24 with green eyes… Best of luck with that one Brian, you’ll be on a dating site for a while with specifications like that. Remember you’re looking for a woman, not a car.



Edit - what's funny is I started writing this blog almost exactly a year ago and I have re-read it for the first time today and my times have changed... in fact I haven't really dated at all, deleted all signs of dating apps and men altogether. I have never felt so confident in myself and so happy with where I am in my life. 
I bought a flat at the end of November last year and moved in 30th May this year and it has completely taken up my time (in a good way!). I feel like I don't need a man to define me, to help me financially or to keep up with the Jones's. 
Women in their 20's come up with these faux deadlines of when they need to move in with a partner, get engaged, get married, have children, have more children... but then what. I used to say I will be married with children by the time I'm 27, which I laugh at now. I'm 28 with no man in sight. Why do we rush all these things in life and not focus on what we have right now and appreciate the freedom? I much prefer doing what I want, when I want, with who I want. Does no one else get excited by the thought that we have no idea what the future holds, and whose hand we will hold? He could be an older man with a lot of money, or maybe a waiter you met on a girls trip in Italy... you are the creator of your own destiny. 
I witness my friends on an almost daily basis driving themselves crazy because "another friend just announced their engagement". Well guess what... almost 80% of the time people settle. They settle because they feel like they should be doing what everyone else is and when they are doing it or because they have been dating since they were 15. Not this girl! I spent the last 8 years since moving to London trying to figure out who I am and relentlessly working on myself... not to waste it on the next guy I swipe right on whose profile is just like every Tom, Dick & Harry "6'2, easily found in a bar and has jokes"... original!
I am determined to find my prince charming and I'm in no rush to get there. Quit looking for the needle in the haystack ladies... instead be the one who accidentally stumbles upon the hay-bale and it sticks her in the butt by surprise :) 

100 Days of Happy (is this really happening?)

100 days of Happy. I have recently embarked on "100 days of Happy", where they challenge you to be happy for 100 days straight, create a hashtag (mine being #Jolly100) and post photos with a description of what made you most happy that day. 

Living in the high paced environment that is London it becomes extremely difficult to not get angry over silly things. Here is a list of my biggest pet peeves:

• Someone walking at a snails pace on the side walk in front of you; or 4 people walking together leaving no room for you to pass so you can catch your tube which only comes every 60 seconds
• Waiting to board a smelly train after it was delayed for (only) 6 mins
• Trying to fit in going to the gym after working over 8 hours at a job you know isn't really for you
• Wasting time on dead end dates, when all you want to do is be married to please your mother
• Paying the most ridiculous rent for a shoe box sized room 
• Leaving the house in summer with beautifully styled hair and a fresh face of make up to get on the tube and turn up to work looking like you just stepped out the shower with panda eyes
• Living with 2 housemates who have absolutely no clue about life and bitch and moan about the most mundane things (i.e. "why is the wifi not working" and sending dozens of texts back and forth in our group chat, for me to just go out and un-plug it and plug it back in for it to work again. I mean who would ever think to do such a thing?)
• Having other people at work who take the absolute piss but get ahead of you in the end

The list will honestly never end and I'm sure you all feel the same or can relate to at least 3 of the above. But alas! I refuse to be brought down by the hectic lifestyles we lead. I am determined to find something good in every day and make every day the best.

Day 1: I was sitting in the middle of the tube carriage (aka not in a priority seat) and gave my seat up to a heavily pregnant woman. I tackled through at least 3 sweaty arm pits to exchange my seat for a cramped standing position against an old mans freakishly long beard, and spent the rest of my journey scowling at the overweight lady sitting in the priority seat... but I felt good about the good deed. It can't be nice being heavily pregnant on a "sauna" tube with swollen feet! 

Tonight, after a dull 8 hours of reading through boring building contracts and answering ridiculous questions from people who get paid far to much for what they really do, I am meeting up with 3 of my closest girlfriends for dinner on the South Bank (photo proof of me having a fab time is still to come).

I think everyone should embark on 100 days of happy.... I mean it can't do any harm!

Anxiety.... where do I begin. I have been anxious my entire life but have always tried to sweep it under the rug and convince myself that I was just overreacting. I find myself getting anxious over a train waiting on the tracks between platforms for 30 seconds, before work meetings where I don't even have to say anything, getting to the airport on time, finding a husband, affording a house, wondering if I will have children... the list is endless, and it's taking over my life. 

The worst anxiety attack I ever had was before my driving test (of all things). I blacked out and smashed my back against my bedroom door, with the door knob cracking me in the back, and then I couldn't stop vomiting. One thing that works me up even more is the fact that I feel like no one else would react like this so why am I???

Physical symptoms of anxiety are:

• a pounding heartbeat
• breathing faster
• palpitations (an irregular heartbeat)
• feeling sick
• chest pains
• headaches
• sweating
• loss of appetite
• feeling faint
• needing the toilet more frequently
• "butterflies" in your tummy

So you can imagine it makes you feel uneasy the majority of the time. I used to get severely anxious over past cheating boyfriends and wouldn't be able to eat, to the point where with one of my exes I lost 35lbs... and for someone of my height 5'8", looked and felt like a lot. My heart also beats irregularly which I find quite scary and it's hard to get under control. 

You read those articles that tell you to "breathe, do a yoga pose and try not to overthink", those people have clearly never had the overpowering sense of anxiety I have. 

It has gotten to the point where it is affecting my overall happiness so will visit my GP in the coming weeks and will report back on whether they have a better resolution for people rather than "breathing".

Alcohol and Weight Loss

I don't know about you guys but I LOVE a couple glasses of wine at home after a long hard day at work. During a diet you don't really think about the calories you drink. I know that you should have full fat coke etc but I never think about alcohol (probably because I love it too much). But if I added up how many calories I am adding to my diet from wine alone, it's shocking. It feels like the time I spend at the gym is wasted because the calories I burn off is probably just the alcohol so my weight loss will be at a standstill. 

I did some research and I found out the below information:
1 can of Beer = 150 calories, 13g Carbohydrates, 14mg Sodium
5 fl oz Wine = 100 calories, 4g Carbohydrates, 7mg Sodium
1.5 fl oz Vodka = 97 calories, 0g Carbohydrates, 0mg Sodium

Clearly beer is the worst in terms of carbs etc, and it has been proven to give women a gut and make us bloat, so I have decided to stay fully clear of beer for a while! I will never say I am completely giving up alcohol because I love it too much on the weekends, but won't be drinking during the week.

The below chart is also quite useful when comparing calories & alcohol!

£1 Nivea Cream better than Crème de la Mer?!

... the answer is yes! 
I have been an avid user of Nivea Creme since I was maybe 16 and have never looked back. I know of several celebrities such as Kate Winslet (37) and Joan Collins (80) who use Nivea Creme and their skin is beautiful... even at 80. Check out the "difference" below!

I never saw the point in spending hundreds of pounds on moisturizers that were overrated when I know the £1 something pot works wonders. It's too thick to wear during the day so I put it on before bed so it has a good 8 hours to be absorbed and I wake up with very soft skin that's not oily. 
During the day before putting my make-up on I use a light weight moisturizer from Johnson's called "Johnson's face care - daily essentials, hydrating, 24 hours day cream with SPF 15". 
I believe it is highly beneficial to use a moisturizer which has an SPF also so your skin isn't damaged by the suns rays, which yes, can still happen in the winter! This is also hydrating and doesn't allow your make-up to dry out your skin, which is a bonus especially when its very dry and windy outside. 
You can find it at Boots retailing for about £4.07  http://www.boots.com/en/Johnsons-Daily-Essentials-24hour-Day-Cream-with-SPF-15-for-Normal-Skin-50ml-_1110461/

You can also find the Nivea Cream at Boots retailing for £1.49 for a small pot or £2.39 for the larger one  http://www.boots.com/en/Nivea-Creme-50ml_6105/




Hope you find this information useful as we all know how hard it is to find the right moisturizer, but everyone's skin is different!