My name is Emily Jayne Radcliffe and I
am 30…. 30!!! Looking back on all my formative years and I always imagined
something different, as I'm sure we all do. When I was a teenager I used to
always say I’d be married with 2 kids by the time I’m 27, which now seems so
far fetched. We often spend so much of our lives planning and assuming
instead of just living in the moment and going with the flow; constantly
comparing our lives to our friends and people we see on TV. When the
reality is that we all have separate paths we’re supposed to take. It’s sometimes
an exciting roller-coaster or perhaps a straight path with a couple
unexpected speed bumps, but we all make it our own. You are the maker of your
destiny.
On the contrary I am happy to say that I am a
completely better person compared to over a decade ago. I have significantly
matured, I feel like I have a better sense of who I am and I am extremely
responsible.
It’s crazy that I considered 17-20 the best years
of my life. I was prioritising my crushes over school work, hanging out with
college kids who didn’t have a care in the world (or a curfew for that matter).
Driving over 100mph to frat parties on a Friday night. I once drove whilst
shrooming and I no joke could have killed someone. I would go to the mall with
empty shopping bags which I would gradually fill with stolen merchandise. I
drove around soon to be convicts with 5lb of weed in the trunk thinking it was
fine because I had diplomatic plates. I regularly used to drink heavily and
drive home thinking I was fine. I lost a friend in a car accident because the
girl driving was on a whole mixture of drugs, she crashed into a tree and he
went through the windshield from the back seat; it turned into a big murder
trial on the news. I had several one night stands with guys I barely
knew because I thought that’s all they really wanted from me anyway, and
weirdly thought it would make me more desirable, instead it just made me feel
used. I got pregnant at the ripe age of 19 with someone who was sleeping with
every girl between the ages of 15-25 in Fairfax County; my mother didn’t
discuss much with me when I showed her the pregnancy test except that she would
book an appointment at Planned Parenthood to get rid of it. I had a total of
about 6 car accidents because of my pure stupidity which ended up costing my
parents tons of money on insurance premiums. I had sex with someone as payment
for fixing a wall that a “friend” smashed through during a party at my parents
friends house I was looking after. I got cyber bullied terribly after getting
in with the wrong crowd. The night I moved from NOVA to London the guy who
knocked me up and stopped acknowledging me stuck a loaded gun in my face when I
showed up to his house because his actual girlfriend inside (a year later I
keyed his car pretty badly and another year on from that we got engaged,
applied for a fiancé visa, which then ended terribly!).
Crazy right? I thought so… happy to say that I
don’t do any of the above anymore and I work hard at my job, personal life and
home. I am surrounded by great friends and family who are incredibly
supportive.
